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How Do You Know if Your Heart is Closed

Writer's picture: Cara DeptulaCara Deptula

Updated: Jul 10, 2022

Unfortunately, as we grow up we often get hurt, this can lead to a hardening of the heart.  Even the slightest trauma can cause a sensitive person to begin closing themselves off from people and experiences.  Over time, the anger and deep pain that hasn’t healed collects and it impacts our well being. It seems logical that if we protect ourselves with our shields, then we can’t get hurt, BUT that just isn’t the case. It hurts us deeply and disconnects us from our authenticity. 


When we walk around with shields on, we are hiding our authentic selves from the others.  Often we even hide from ourselves.  We ignore the pain and shove it under the rug like it doesn’t exist. We pretend like we are okay and that those little things in our past never bothered us.   Those little things can feel quite big to a young and sensitive child.  Any trauma between ages zero through seven has an enormous impact on the psychological state of a human.  However, this is okay, it’s just a part of growth, but often children and adults don't see their obstacles as blessings. Instead the heart closes and hardens.  


The soul comes into this world needing experiences like this to evolve into the high frequency being they are meant to be.  So even the greatest traumas have a gift for you! 


Here are some signs that you need to open your heart: 

  • Your root chakra is off balance. You feel a lack of safety and trust.

  • You hold onto grudges

  • You have past hurts or abandonment issues 

  • You obsess over past relationships and can’t move on

  • You are stressed and anxious which means your brain is overriding your emotions. If it all goes to your brain then you can’t feel anything

  • You are always in your head and have a lot of mental chatter

  • You close down around people

  • You sabotage relationships

  • You feel pain or anger

  • You carry past baggage

  • You can’t commit to someone you love because you want to keep the control

  • You need to feel in control and try to control how others behave

  • You procrastinate in regards to finding a partner or you fantasize about finding your “prince” or “princess”.  With avoidance of it, you can’t get hurt

  • You have fear around feeling feelings of intimate love

  • You seclude yourself from others and push people away when they get too close

  • You notice patterns of attracting people who are emotionally unavailable

  • You don’t feel close to people with whom you have a close relationship

  • You suppress any feelings that you have and bottle up your emotions (which ultimately leads to an implosion or explosion.  Either you take this out on yourself or others)

  • You criticize yourself and others


Here are a couple ways that may surprise because they have nothing to do with others but more about your own self worth: 

  • Your focus is on others and caring for them but you don’t allow yourself to receive. 

  • Your heart is closed to yourself and you don’t feel you deserve love.

  • You have a hard time understanding the feeling of others (because you’ve not acknowledged your own)

A part of opening your heart is allowing yourself to RECEIVE love and kindness!!!


Next we’ll dive into how to OPEN YOUR HEART

but if you haven't read my blog post on "The Power of an Open Heart", do that too!


Love & Light,

Cara Deptula



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1 Comment


Unknown member
Sep 17, 2020

Spot on truth❤️

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