Break the Cycle of Self Sabotage!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (NIV84)

I feel most people don't understand the word "love". They say "love you" without putting the pronoun "I" in front of it. Sure it's nice from a friend when they say "Love You" when you're getting off the phone. From a parent, spouse, or partner, shouldn't it be "I love you". There is something about OWNING your words by using the pronoun "I" that is so important. The pronoun "I" puts that accountability, ownership, and responsibility in the words are said. It is the same for "I'm sorry". If someone says "sorry", it just isn't the same.

Okay, so step one is using the pronoun "I" and if you can't use that pronoun then that probably means that you you really don't mean what you say. I hate to be so blunt, but it's just true. Most likely this means that you don't love yourself. People that don't love themselves really don't have the capabilities of saying "I love you" to another human being.

Maybe you can say "I love you to an animal?". Can you do that? If you can do that, it most likely means that you love yourself and can love and an animal because an animal is 100% pure love. They want to feel 100% love from you too.

Maybe you can say "I love you" to your animals but not to your family, spouse, friends, etc. That means that you love yourself but are also so PROTECTIVE that you won't let anyone else in. You may feel that if you "love" then you could have LOSS or get HURT. It takes courage to love another human. Why? Humans are risky. Most humans don't love themselves. Most humans don't understand what love is and are self consumed. Most humans need so much healing that their capacity to love is just absent. They just aren't capable of love. They aren't even capable of loving their own children because they never learned how to love themselves. If having a child is not what they expected, often the opposite happens. What is created is resentment. That child did not provide them the love that they needed in the way that they needed and the dreamy perfect "family" "Disney" idealism just didn't happen. Maybe their body never went back to the way it was before the pregnancy and there was resentment. This happens to women who already hated their bodies, they then have a baby, think that the baby will fill their voids, and then they just hate their body more. Maybe the mother's hormones are off balance and hormonally they are not even capable of feelings of love. Maybe the father feels too overwhelmed by having to take care of a mother and a baby, so they just bail because their burden is too much. They can't handle it. They take the easy way out. That's why there are so many broken children; their parents were not capable of giving love and instead were abusive - hence causing more brokenness. The cycle continues.

So how do we BREAK THE CYCLE?

We start by loving ourselves. How do we do that if we have no role models and have only been taught what abuse looks like. What if we were told that abuse was love? We have to reprogram all that we know in every vibrance of each cell in our bodies.

We look at what love really is. Love is patience, kindness and understanding. Yes, sure there is "tough love" but that is when someone is going so severely down the wrong path that there have to be boundaries, firmness... that individual needs to wake up because they are harming themselves or other.

Work on....

• Loving yourself

• Understanding yourself

• Cutting toxicity out of your life

• Being kind to yourself

• Cutting out the self-sabotage

• Radical self-acceptance

• Radical self-forgiveness

• Self-gratitude for your character

• Being very honest with yourself

• Getting clear

• Not blaming others

• Radical agape love of where you are....because with that you can SHIFT !

Start there.

Blessings and love,

Cara

https://awakenyourbliss.wixsite.com/love

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